How to Support the Person You Adopted
A non-exhaustive guide for the adoptive parents who would otherwise contact me for one-on-one advice.
Essays
Health.com | My Experience With Transracial Adoption
It felt like I was dying unseen.
Our Personal Problematic Faves
When we excuse those we love for offenses that aren’t ours to forgive, we enable greater harm.
Loss of Motherhood
I got to a place where I could allow myself to hope and dream of what motherhood could look like for me. Believing it possible was another story.
The Complex Identity of the Displaced
Identity and our understanding of it isn’t fixed, and all aspects of it matter—even as they change and evolve.
Bad Robots
It’s been a strange year and somehow the viral and racial pandemics have got me thinking about robots. I’ve been considering how we use technology for better and worse, the dehumanization of the lower castes, and the parallels of robot fantasy and White supremacy.
Trauma Begetting Trauma
Something terrible happened in the adoptee community and we can’t talk about it. The lack of discussion around it is additionally traumatic and familiar.
Adoptee Community Conflict
While it’s impossible to always get along, I want to believe we can live among each other more peacefully—and take appropriate steps when we can’t.
Moving through Trauma
When we don’t work through our trauma, its trapped energy continues to move through us.
Adoption & Slavery
While it’s frustrating to keep speaking into the void, there are better ways for adoptee trauma to be heard. Co-opting the suffering of Black Americans is not the answer.